deeperwonderment: ([Character] Claudia Brown Forever)
[personal profile] deeperwonderment
Title: I Feel the Static
Author: [personal profile] shadowcat
Fandom: Primeval
Pairing/Characters: Claudia Brown
Prompt: First Person Narration
Rating/Category: G
Summary: Claudia tells what happened to her in the Forest of Dean.
Words: 700
Notes: This was written for my Primeval Bingo Card.




I never expected for things to go the way that they did. I’m pretty sure that no one else did, either.

Except, maybe Helen. She probably had travelled over so many futures that she knew what every outcome of any action we made would be. We wouldn’t have listened to her any more than she would have offered to help us, though. Of that I am very sure. The look on her face before they went into that anomaly was one that would stay with me forever.

I didn’t want them to go. I didn’t want Cutter to go. I wasn’t sure why the idea of them going into that one filled me with so much dread, but it did. I’d been having strange nightmares ever since the last anomaly. They were nightmares that didn’t seem to have anything to do with the pteradon or Helen rescuing me from the building where I was about to be eaten by the smaller creatures.

Bird food.

Prehistoric bird food. Now, that was something that could be put on a CV for a job application. Probably only for applying at the Home Office, though. Not many other places would look at that as field experience.

I’m getting too off of track.

Helen Cutter.

The fact that she had rescued me and could have been blown up was something that I still wasn’t completely sure about the “Whys?” of. When Cutter tried asking her, she distracted everyone by having different avenues of information about the future predators and the anomaly that had re-opened in the Forest of Dean.

Looking back at it now, that should have been our biggest clue that something was going to go horribly wrong for all of us. Never before had an anomaly opened in the same exact place. Why was the one in the Forest of Dean opening again? Why did it open when Helen appeared back in our lives? I knew that there was something wrong, I just didn’t know how wrong everything was.

I didn’t know how wrong everything was going to go.

I would have done almost anything to keep Cutter and Ryan from going through that anomaly with Helen. Somehow I knew that those future predators weren’t the most dangerous predator they were handling on this mission.

When it happened, well, there was no sudden shock of pain or anything. I just suddenly wasn’t there. I could see everyone and the forest, but there was a kind of haze between me and them. Another man was suddenly standing by Lester and things were so very different. I tried talking to them and then I tried yelling at them, but nothing happened. No one responded to anything I said or tried to do.

I ceased to exist for all of them in that minute.

The thing is, I still exist. I don’t know what happened, but while no one but Cutter seemed to remember me or Ryan, I’m still here. I may not understand where here is, but I know that I didn’t just get completely erased.

However, I almost wished I had when I saw Cutter’s face and heard his voice as he realized that I was gone. It hurt more to see his distress than to acknowledge that no one had any idea what he was talking about. He kept yelling my name and trying to get back through the anomaly. Stephen was the only one who was strong enough to fight Cutter back until the anomaly closed. Everything about him was just such a vivid, touchable pain that I couldn’t bear to see it. If I had had any doubts about his feelings for me, they would have dispersed at that moment.

I’m glad that Stephen stopped him, though. Cutter didn’t know what had happened to erase me and he could have died in the process of trying to recreate whatever had occurred while he was in the Permian. I wouldn’t have wanted him to risk his life to bring me back. That’s just not something I would have wanted to ever see happen.

My Cutter.

To watch him die would have been worse than being trapped in this hazy, in between place.


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