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deeperwondermentTitle: When I'm alone in the dark and the fear is my truth
Author:shadowcat
Rating: PG-13.
Word Count: 1,608.
Character(s): Stephen Hart
Summary: There wasn't supposed to be a fire fight in the middle of an anomaly call. Stephen mentally cursed for the second time in as many minutes. He peered around the corner of the boulder he was using for cover and fired his gun again.
Author's Note: Warning for angst.queenmidalah is an enabler.
There wasn't supposed to be a fire fight in the middle of an anomaly call. Stephen mentally cursed for the second time in as many minutes. He peered around the corner of the boulder he was using for cover and fired his gun again.
Damn it! Where was Ryan and his back up?
The call had started out normally enough. Anomaly opened, the team went to it, but there was nothing and no anomaly. However, as soon as the military unit was out of the area, trouble started. Out of nowhere, weapons started firing and they were the ones being fired upon.
Connor had gotten on the radio and called for help while he, Abby and Cutter had returned fire, getting to whatever cover they could. Ryan had said he and his men were on their way back, but Stephen didn't know how long ago that had been.
"Connor, no!"
That was Abby's voice and Stephen turned to see Connor doing his best to make his way to Cutter who...
...who was out in the damn open with no cover.
"What the hell?!" Stephen had several curses going through his mind as he broke his own cover to fire at the men that seemed to have his friend in their sights.
The gun jerked against his shoulder as he continued to fire, breathing a sigh of relief when he saw Cutter and Connor collapse behind a pile of boulders. "Stay down!" He ordered. "Ryan will be here ---"
The words were cut off as he heard a scream from behind him and then fell something crash into him.
Stephen hit the ground hard and rolled, trying to get his breath back in his body...
...only to lose it again when he saw the white blonde hair standing out in stark contrast against the dark and dirty ground.
"Abby?" His chest tightened and without focusing, he crouched down next to her. Looking around, he saw a body atop of the boulder near the one he had been hiding behind. From the way he had fallen and the gun clutched in the zoologist's hand, it didn't take much for him to realize what had happened.
He placed his fingers against her neck and felt his own heart jump when he felt the faintest hint of a pulse.
"Talk to me, Abby," he ordered softly. "Tell me what happened?"
Abby's eyes focused on his as she fought to get enough air in her lungs to speak. "He shot me," she whispered.
He brushed her hair back with a shaking hand, dimly aware that Ryan and his men had arrived and were quickly getting the situation under control.
"He was going to shoot you," she said, swallowing hard and then coughing.
"Abby! Christ, Abby!" He lifted her gently, holding her against him, trying to make her more comfortable as he waited for the medic to get to her.
"Couldn't let him," she murmured, closing her eyes. "I couldn't let him hurt you."
"Why? Abby, why? I would have been all right. I would have healed."
"Not worth the chance. He was aiming at your head."
He could feel her blood soaking into his clothes and he looked around wildly. "Where is the damn medic?!" He almost didn't recognize the roar that came from his throat.
"It's ok, Stephen," she murmured, looking up into his face. "It doesn't hurt."
That scared him more than anything. He knew she was badly hurt because he could feel her blood and could see how blue her lips were against her increasingly paler face.
"You hold on," he ordered fiercely. "You're going to get through this and then I'm going to kick your ass for doing something so ... "
He didn't have any words to describe what Abby had done. She had not only saved his life, but in doing so she had taken a bullet for him.
"I'm so tired, Stephen."
His heart clenched as he shook his head. "No, Abby. Don't close your eyes. You have to stay awake a little bit longer so that the medic can get you patched up."
"Bossy."
"Damn right," he responded, trying to keep the fear and anguish out of his voice. "You broke cover in a dangerous situation, Miss Maitland, and I have every right to chew your ass about it."
The medic dropped down beside them and he heard the others arriving. Obviously, Ryan's men had taken care of the rest of the gunmen.
"Where were you?" Stephen hissed at Ryan, trying to keep the rage out of his voice. "You said you were on your way. I know you couldn't have been very far away when Connor radioed for help."
"Explosion," Ryan bit out. "One of our trucks got hit."
That was when Stephen noticed the blood on Ryan's face, but he couldn't say anything because he was feeling Abby's life bleeding away into his clothes.
"I'm sorry," the medic said quietly and Stephen saw the look he exchanged with Ryan. When Ryan tightened his jaw, the medic shook his head and Stephen knew it was bad. "There's nothing I can do," he said quietly. "I can maybe make her more comfortable but..."
Stephen shook his head in denial, feeling the tears he had been fighting welling in his eyes as he looked down at Abby. He swallowed past the knot in throat.
"Why?" He finally managed to ask her. "Why, Abby?"
The look she gave him was incredulous, but he saw something in her eyes that he hadn't noticed before.
"Do you really not know?" Her voice was raspy and she struggled for breath. "I couldn't have borne it..."
"What? What couldn't you have, Abby?"
"I couldn't let you die. It would have killed me."
He just stared down at her and then swallowed hard, fighting back the tears that wanted to fall. He had always been careful with his emotions around anyone but Cutter, but then again, he never expected that he would be trying to hold life into the body of the woman he had already hurt once and had made sure he kept his distance from.
"I thought you didn't have a thing for me," he teased, trying to do anything he could to make her stay focused and stay here.
"Lied," she gasped out. "Better to lie than to admit that I wanted you when you didn't want me. Have my pride, you know."
"Abby ..." He didn't know what to say that would sound right. If he told her that he had always wanted her, she would die thinking he was lying just to make her feel better. However, he couldn't let her go without telling her how he felt. "I wanted you, Abby," he said softly, shifting her on his lap and biting back a curse when he saw how much color was bleaching out of her skin with every breath she took."You have to stay so I can show you how much I mean it this time."
He could swear she smiled at him and she reached her hand up to touch his face. "Stephen..."
"What?" She didn't say anything and he felt her hand drop from his face. "Abby! No, damn it, Abby!"
Stephen shook his head, but when he saw that her body was still and Ryan reached over to close her eyes, he couldn't help the raw sound that tore itself from his throat.
"ABBY!"
Stephen shot straight up in his bed, screaming her name. It took him a few moments to realize that he was alone in his flat and he had been dreaming.
He buried his face in his hands, trying to get his breathing to return to a normal state.
A dream. It had been a damn dream.
No, not a dream. It had been a damned nightmare.
He got up from the bed and made it to the bathroom on shaky legs. He had barely made it into the room when his knees hit the tile and he found himself heaving into the toilet. Even after he was sure that his stomach was empty, he couldn’t stop the heaving and the sickness that tore through him.
The dream had felt so real. Real enough that he had to get himself into the shower because he could still feel Abby’s blood soaking into his skin.
Stephen stood beneath the spray with his head bowed long after the water turned cold. The images from the dream kept replaying in his mind and he could feel the wetness on his face that had only a little to do with the shower.
Abby had died in his arms. He had watched the light fade from her eyes and felt when the last breath had left her body. She had died in his arms -- and from a bullet that had been meant for him. She had thrown herself between him and a bullet and had died because of it.
He shuddered, reaching to turn off the water. He stood there for a moment, letting the silence envelop him. Finally, he reached for a towel and wrapped it around his waist before walking into the kitchen.
He made a pot of coffee, trying to ignore how badly his hands were shaking as he went through the motions. Finally, after managing not only to drink a cup and burning the roof of his mouth but getting some of the shaking under control, he dropped down onto his sofa. He reached for the phone and dialed a number from memory.
“Nick, it’s me. Can you come over this morning before we have to go in? I need to talk about something …”
Author:
shadowcatRating: PG-13.
Word Count: 1,608.
Character(s): Stephen Hart
Summary: There wasn't supposed to be a fire fight in the middle of an anomaly call. Stephen mentally cursed for the second time in as many minutes. He peered around the corner of the boulder he was using for cover and fired his gun again.
Author's Note: Warning for angst.
queenmidalah is an enabler.There wasn't supposed to be a fire fight in the middle of an anomaly call. Stephen mentally cursed for the second time in as many minutes. He peered around the corner of the boulder he was using for cover and fired his gun again.
Damn it! Where was Ryan and his back up?
The call had started out normally enough. Anomaly opened, the team went to it, but there was nothing and no anomaly. However, as soon as the military unit was out of the area, trouble started. Out of nowhere, weapons started firing and they were the ones being fired upon.
Connor had gotten on the radio and called for help while he, Abby and Cutter had returned fire, getting to whatever cover they could. Ryan had said he and his men were on their way back, but Stephen didn't know how long ago that had been.
"Connor, no!"
That was Abby's voice and Stephen turned to see Connor doing his best to make his way to Cutter who...
...who was out in the damn open with no cover.
"What the hell?!" Stephen had several curses going through his mind as he broke his own cover to fire at the men that seemed to have his friend in their sights.
The gun jerked against his shoulder as he continued to fire, breathing a sigh of relief when he saw Cutter and Connor collapse behind a pile of boulders. "Stay down!" He ordered. "Ryan will be here ---"
The words were cut off as he heard a scream from behind him and then fell something crash into him.
Stephen hit the ground hard and rolled, trying to get his breath back in his body...
...only to lose it again when he saw the white blonde hair standing out in stark contrast against the dark and dirty ground.
"Abby?" His chest tightened and without focusing, he crouched down next to her. Looking around, he saw a body atop of the boulder near the one he had been hiding behind. From the way he had fallen and the gun clutched in the zoologist's hand, it didn't take much for him to realize what had happened.
He placed his fingers against her neck and felt his own heart jump when he felt the faintest hint of a pulse.
"Talk to me, Abby," he ordered softly. "Tell me what happened?"
Abby's eyes focused on his as she fought to get enough air in her lungs to speak. "He shot me," she whispered.
He brushed her hair back with a shaking hand, dimly aware that Ryan and his men had arrived and were quickly getting the situation under control.
"He was going to shoot you," she said, swallowing hard and then coughing.
"Abby! Christ, Abby!" He lifted her gently, holding her against him, trying to make her more comfortable as he waited for the medic to get to her.
"Couldn't let him," she murmured, closing her eyes. "I couldn't let him hurt you."
"Why? Abby, why? I would have been all right. I would have healed."
"Not worth the chance. He was aiming at your head."
He could feel her blood soaking into his clothes and he looked around wildly. "Where is the damn medic?!" He almost didn't recognize the roar that came from his throat.
"It's ok, Stephen," she murmured, looking up into his face. "It doesn't hurt."
That scared him more than anything. He knew she was badly hurt because he could feel her blood and could see how blue her lips were against her increasingly paler face.
"You hold on," he ordered fiercely. "You're going to get through this and then I'm going to kick your ass for doing something so ... "
He didn't have any words to describe what Abby had done. She had not only saved his life, but in doing so she had taken a bullet for him.
"I'm so tired, Stephen."
His heart clenched as he shook his head. "No, Abby. Don't close your eyes. You have to stay awake a little bit longer so that the medic can get you patched up."
"Bossy."
"Damn right," he responded, trying to keep the fear and anguish out of his voice. "You broke cover in a dangerous situation, Miss Maitland, and I have every right to chew your ass about it."
The medic dropped down beside them and he heard the others arriving. Obviously, Ryan's men had taken care of the rest of the gunmen.
"Where were you?" Stephen hissed at Ryan, trying to keep the rage out of his voice. "You said you were on your way. I know you couldn't have been very far away when Connor radioed for help."
"Explosion," Ryan bit out. "One of our trucks got hit."
That was when Stephen noticed the blood on Ryan's face, but he couldn't say anything because he was feeling Abby's life bleeding away into his clothes.
"I'm sorry," the medic said quietly and Stephen saw the look he exchanged with Ryan. When Ryan tightened his jaw, the medic shook his head and Stephen knew it was bad. "There's nothing I can do," he said quietly. "I can maybe make her more comfortable but..."
Stephen shook his head in denial, feeling the tears he had been fighting welling in his eyes as he looked down at Abby. He swallowed past the knot in throat.
"Why?" He finally managed to ask her. "Why, Abby?"
The look she gave him was incredulous, but he saw something in her eyes that he hadn't noticed before.
"Do you really not know?" Her voice was raspy and she struggled for breath. "I couldn't have borne it..."
"What? What couldn't you have, Abby?"
"I couldn't let you die. It would have killed me."
He just stared down at her and then swallowed hard, fighting back the tears that wanted to fall. He had always been careful with his emotions around anyone but Cutter, but then again, he never expected that he would be trying to hold life into the body of the woman he had already hurt once and had made sure he kept his distance from.
"I thought you didn't have a thing for me," he teased, trying to do anything he could to make her stay focused and stay here.
"Lied," she gasped out. "Better to lie than to admit that I wanted you when you didn't want me. Have my pride, you know."
"Abby ..." He didn't know what to say that would sound right. If he told her that he had always wanted her, she would die thinking he was lying just to make her feel better. However, he couldn't let her go without telling her how he felt. "I wanted you, Abby," he said softly, shifting her on his lap and biting back a curse when he saw how much color was bleaching out of her skin with every breath she took."You have to stay so I can show you how much I mean it this time."
He could swear she smiled at him and she reached her hand up to touch his face. "Stephen..."
"What?" She didn't say anything and he felt her hand drop from his face. "Abby! No, damn it, Abby!"
Stephen shook his head, but when he saw that her body was still and Ryan reached over to close her eyes, he couldn't help the raw sound that tore itself from his throat.
"ABBY!"
Stephen shot straight up in his bed, screaming her name. It took him a few moments to realize that he was alone in his flat and he had been dreaming.
He buried his face in his hands, trying to get his breathing to return to a normal state.
A dream. It had been a damn dream.
No, not a dream. It had been a damned nightmare.
He got up from the bed and made it to the bathroom on shaky legs. He had barely made it into the room when his knees hit the tile and he found himself heaving into the toilet. Even after he was sure that his stomach was empty, he couldn’t stop the heaving and the sickness that tore through him.
The dream had felt so real. Real enough that he had to get himself into the shower because he could still feel Abby’s blood soaking into his skin.
Stephen stood beneath the spray with his head bowed long after the water turned cold. The images from the dream kept replaying in his mind and he could feel the wetness on his face that had only a little to do with the shower.
Abby had died in his arms. He had watched the light fade from her eyes and felt when the last breath had left her body. She had died in his arms -- and from a bullet that had been meant for him. She had thrown herself between him and a bullet and had died because of it.
He shuddered, reaching to turn off the water. He stood there for a moment, letting the silence envelop him. Finally, he reached for a towel and wrapped it around his waist before walking into the kitchen.
He made a pot of coffee, trying to ignore how badly his hands were shaking as he went through the motions. Finally, after managing not only to drink a cup and burning the roof of his mouth but getting some of the shaking under control, he dropped down onto his sofa. He reached for the phone and dialed a number from memory.
“Nick, it’s me. Can you come over this morning before we have to go in? I need to talk about something …”
