For Love, Not Altruism

[deeperwonderment]

Title: For Love, Not Altruism
Author: not_from_stars
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: The Host
Character(s): Wanderer/Wanda, Melanie Stryder, Jared Howe, Ian O'Shea, Kyle O'Shea, Seekers
Word Count: 3,206
Summary: However, they didn't know Wanda. They didn't know what Wanda was willing to do for those she loved. After all, Souls weren't supposed to do things like this.
Assigned Challenge: Ian is captured by Seekers and Wanderer must go and save him. What will she do?
Notes: This was written for the "12 Days Before Christmas" event at the_host_novel. As it has been posted for the 10th Day Of Christmas gift at the community, I can now post it here.




She hadn't been expecting there to be so much pain.

Everything had gone according to her desperate plan. The Seekers were willing to trade Ian to get their Wanderer back. They'd planned to remove her from this body and send her somewhere away from these humans that had influenced her so much.

However, they didn't know Wanda. They didn't know what Wanda was willing to do for those she loved. After all, Souls weren't supposed to do things like this.

She stared at the blood coating her hands from where she had pressed them against her chest and felt herself fall to her knees.

It hurt. It hurt so much worse than she had expected it to since she had never been shot before. It burned through her and everything started to blur as she heard the commotion all around her.

"Wanda!"

"Forgive me, Ian." Her voice was breaking. "Had to make sure you'd be safe."

If only they hadn't made all of this so necessary...



The four of them stood on the cliff overlooking the house where the two seekers were holding Ian captive. Jared, Melanie and Kyle were arguing about the best way to get in there and rescue Ian. So far, Wanda had remained silent as she stared down at that house.

It had been too good to be true. Too foolish of her to think she could stay here and those she loved would be safe. Too foolish to think they wouldn't have a run-in with Seekers again.

She was scared. She was scared for Ian and she couldn't help but blame herself for the entire situation. Swallowing hard, she turned to look at her friends.

"There's only one way for us to get Ian back without needless bloodshed," Wanda said softly. "We make a trade."

"A trade?" Kyle scoffed, shaking his head. "We don't have anything valuable enough they want that we'd be willing to give them!"

Wanda swallowed. "Yes we do."

It was Melanie who understood immediately what Wanda was suggesting.

"No! Wanda, no!" Melanie shook her head as she looked at the woman who had become like a younger sister to her. "There has to be another way."

"There's not, Mel. You know it and I know it," she whispered. "I wish there was."

"What the hell are you two talking about?" Kyle demanded.

Wanda didn't respond, and Melanie turned frantic eyes to Jared.

"She's going to trade herself to the Seekers for Ian!"

Kyle just stared at Wanda when he heard that. "Wanda?"

"They have Ian, Kyle." Her voice trembled. "I can't let them... I can't." She looked at Jared and Melanie. "These Seekers aren't like the wild one that kept chasing me and Mel, but they are Seekers... and they know of Wanderer."

"And you think they'll trade you for Ian?" Jared's voice was flat.

"I know they will," she said miserably. "They're Souls... and Wanderer is someone they know of and will relate to." She swallowed. "I'm a Soul, too. My safety will be their first concern and they'll let Ian go."

"And then what?" Melanie demanded. "They'll take you away from us, Wanda!"

"I don't relish another fist fight with my brother when he finds out that I didn't try to stop you from doing this, Wanda."

"It's the only way to get him back, Kyle."

"There's one thing you're forgetting, Wanda," Jared's voice was calm as he looked at her. "They give us Ian and then take you. They take you out of that body and put you in another one, and you lead them back to us."

"That's not going to happen, Jared," Wanda's voice was empty as she looked at the ground.

"How can you be so sure of that?"

She took a breath and lifted her eyes to Jared's. "Because as soon as we know Ian is safely out, Kyle is going to shoot me."

There was dead silence for a moment and then Kyle broke the silence.

"The Hell I am," he burst out. "You're my brother's girlfriend, Wanda! I can't do that to him."

"It's the only chance we have at saving Ian," she tried to reason.

"Wanda, we can't kill you! Not even to save a friend." Melanie was shaking her head. "You can't expect us to do this."

Wanda's eyes had filled with tears. "But you did the same thing," she murmured. "You were willing to die to protect Jared. How can I do anything less for the one I love."

"Wanda --" Jared started.

"I love Ian more than anything, Jared," Wanda said quietly. "I have to do whatever I can to save him from what's going to happen to him."

"I'm not shooting a friend, Wanda," Kyle argued. "I'm not doing it. We'll find another way."

"Ian wouldn't want your death to save him, Wanda," Jared said quietly.

"He's not the one making the decision," Wanda said as firmly as she could. "We have something they want and we can save Ian from going through what Melanie went through. It's our only way out."

"But where's the way out for you?" Melanie demanded.

"There's not one," Wanda said quietly, even though she was sad about all of this. "My life or Ian's... and the rest of our people? You know I'm right, Mel. One life isn't worth endangering so many more."

"You're being altruistic again, Wanda," Kyle pointed out.

"No. I'm being human."

"We're not getting anywhere by arguing about this right now," Jared finally said quietly. "We can't go in until night fall, anyway, so we should try to get some rest. Don't even think about it, Wanda," he warned.

"I'm not," she said. "I can't rescue him alone."

He nodded and they all went back to the cave they had found earlier.



When she was sure everyone was sleeping, Wanda went outside the cave and back to the cliff overlooking the house. She was too keyed up to sleep, so she sat there, watching the house.

"Sneaking away from us is kind of useless, you know," Kyle said quietly as he dropped to a seat next to her.

"I wasn't going to sneak away, Kyle," she said tiredly. "I meant what I said before. I can't rescue him on my own."

"I can't take part in your death, Wanda," he said.

"If I'm dead, then I'm not a danger to any of you."

"It's not that simple, damn it." Kyle snapped.

"Why not? My life against all of yours. I would think it would be an easy decision for you to make."

"It's not, Wanda, and I know you're trying to make it easier on us. However, you're more than just Ian's girlfriend, you know. You're my friend, now, and I can't do something to hurt you like that."

"But your brother --"

"Ian would much rather die than lose you like this, don't you realize this?"

"Don't you realize I can't let him die when I have the power to save him?"

"Wanda... please don't ask me to do this. I can't do that to Ian. I know how much he loves you and I can't willingly do something to hurt him like this. You didn't see him while the others were trying to find you a new body. It was like part of him had been torn away." Kyle ran a hand through his hair. "Not to mention what it would do to Sunny if I have to tell her that I killed her friend."

Wanda turned her head to look at Kyle and he could see that she was crying. "Kyle, I don't want to die," she whispered. "I want to live. I want to stay with you guys and with Ian. But the Seekers have made that a little impossible by taking Ian from us." She sniffled. "They won't put a Soul into him, Kyle. They've realized that putting Souls into adult humans have too many risks. They'll do what they can to get as much information about any 'Wild Humans' they can... and then they'll get rid of him."

"I thought you said Souls didn't willfully kill?"

"Most Souls don't, but Seekers are the ones that are the protectors of the peace and keeping things from getting violent as much as they can. They wouldn't make him suffer, but they would see him as being too dangerous to be around." She swallowed. "But, to get a Soul back that went away from the teachings, they'd do anything for that." She sighed sadly. "And to get Wanderer back? The Soul that has lived nine lives and been to so many planets and can teach them again? They'd trade his life for me."

"Wanda..."

"He's your brother, Kyle. His safety should be your number one priority."

"It is," Kyle groaned, covering his face with his hand. "He's my little brother and I would do anything to keep him safe. But to look him in the eyes after helping you die, I'm not sure I'm strong enough to do that. Not to mention I don't look forward to him breaking my nose again."

"The last thing I want to do is to hurt anybody, Kyle, but for Ian..."

"I know," he admitted. "You'd do anything no matter how stupid it seems to be to us for him."

"I love him," she said softly.

"I know you do."



The four of them had no problems getting the Seekers to let them in the house. All they had to do was knock.

Before anyone could stop her, Wanda introduced herself to them.

"Wanderer?" One of the Seekers gasped in surprise. "We thought you were lost!"

"I was badly hurt," she said, looking at them. "I had an accident with my car, but these people helped me and saved my life."

"But they're human," the second Seeker said.

"And they kept me alive," Wanda said firmly. "You have their brother and they would like him back."

"He's a wild human, Wanderer. He could be dangerous."

"He's one of these humans that saved me," she said quietly. "We owe him the choice to go with them. We cannot repay their good deed with imprisonment."

It didn't take them long to decide that Wanda was right and one of them left to bring Ian out into the main room. After making sure he was unharmed, Wanda turned to Melanie. Mel nodded, tears already pooling in her eyes as she reached to wrap her hand around Ian's arm.

"Come on," she whispered. "We have to get out of here."

Ian walked with Mel, and then stopped to look over his shoulder. He frowned when he saw that Wanda hadn't followed. "Wanda?"

"I'm sorry, Ian," she said softly. "These are my people. I have to stay with them."

She was lying. He could see it in her eyes that she was lying. She wasn't very good at it. There were tears in her eyes and he pulled away from Mel to go to her...

...and heard the gunshot.

Ian felt the breath leave his body as he watched the blood blossom on Wanda's chest. Pain and shock filled her eyes as she looked from him to who had shot her.

"Jared?!" He yelled. "Jared you fucking bastard! What the hell are you doing?"

He would have launched himself at Jared, except for the fact that Kyle got in his way. Kyle... white-faced and eyes full of shock.

"Got to Wanda," he said. "It was her idea... but it was supposed to be me."

It was only then that Ian saw the gun his brother was holding. Letting out a curse, Ian moved to Wanda, catching her against him as she fell.

"Wanda, honey, it's okay. You're going to be okay."

"I didn't know it would hurt so much, Ian," she whispered. "I didn't realize..."

"Sssh. Wanda, don't talk. We'll get you healed up."

"It was the only way I could save you," she murmured. "I love you."

"Damn it, Wanda," Ian said, tears escaping his eyes and he held her against him. "You are not allowed to leave me. You're not."

"I love you," she repeated, her eyes closing.

"Wanda! Wanda!" Ian was unaware that his tears were moving down his face as he held Wanda's body close to him. "Please don't leave me. I love you."

The Seekers had watched all of this in shock, not used to seeing such emotion from a human. One of them came forward, and knelt at Ian's side.

"Let me help her."

"You're not taking her away from me," Ian growled, his eyes full of emotion.

"I just want to help her, human, I promise."

Ian stared at him for a long moment before nodding. "Can you save her?"

"I believe so," the Seeker responded simply.

"I don't understand," the other Seeker said from where Jared and Kyle had guns aimed on her. "If you care about her, why did you try to kill her?"

"She asked us to," Kyle bit out. "She wanted to make sure Ian stayed safe."

"So you shot her?" The Seeker obviously was confused about this.

"Ian doesn't want to be a Host," Kyle said, looking from the Seeker to where his brother was holding Wanda and back again. "Wanda was afraid that she would be moved to a new Host and be compelled to come after us for the Seekers." He shook his head. "So, she asked me to shoot her to make sure we stayed safe."

"How very strange," she said softly, trying to make sense of what had just happened. "Wanderer... a Soul was willing to die to protect Humans."

"She's part of our family," Mel said angrily as she watched all of this going on. "She's not just a Soul. She's not Wanderer. Her name is Wanda. Wanda is ours and she didn't think there was any other way to save the man she loved from something he didn't want than to die for him to prevent it."

"We would never have hurt them," the female Seeker said in dismay.

"You don't understand," Mel snapped back. "When you put Souls into us, you kill us!"

The Seeker flinched, her face losing some of its color. "We only wanted to help you. There was so much war here, so much death. We wanted to make things better."

"By killing the people that live her and making our bodies unwilling hosts to you souls? You declared war on us and killed so many humans by making us Hosts, or by making us die rather than give up who we are."

Melanie saw the same look come into the Seeker's eyes that she had seen in Wanda's as she became more and more human.

"I never realized..."

"What are you going to do now?" Jared demanded quietly. "Are you going to try and take her away... report that you had a meeting with 'Wild Humans' that you need help tracking down?"

The Seeker blanched and looked over to where her partner was working to save the Soul she knew as Wanderer. "I don't think I can do that," she said quietly. "Not after seeing this. She was willing to die in the most painful of ways to protect you... I don't understand, but it would be dishonoring her sacrifice to allow any of you to be harmed."

"Altruism," Kyle said, shaking his head.

"Logic and loyalty," the Seeker responded as she watched her partner get to his feet. "Will she be all right?"

The male Seeker nodded. "She will live. The bullet passed through, so the Heal and the Seal worked to make her like she was before."

"So what now?" Ian asked as he joined the group, holding Wanda's unconscious form against his chest. "What happens now?"

"Now?" The male Seeker asked in surprise. "Now, you return to your home."

"You're not going to try --"

"No." Both Seekers said in unison.

"We promised that we would just help her," the male said in a kind voice. He handed Melanie a canister. "It's called Awake. It will wake her up when you feel she has rested enough."

Mel curled her hand around the canister. "Thank you."

"We hope to one day see you again. This has been an interesting learning experience."

"We'd like to learn more about you," the female added. "Will you return here?"

"Maybe," Ian said, looking at them. "When we feel that we'll be safe doing so."

"No harm will come to you when you come here," the male Seeker said. "We promise."

Jared nodded and as soon as the others had left the house, he followed them.

"We have to get out of here, now," Jared said tersely once they were all outside.

There were no arguments as they headed to the van they had been using on the raids before everything went so wrong.



When Wanda opened her eyes, the first thing she saw was the cave ceiling. Turning her head head, she saw that she was in Doc's hospital and she was confused.

"Ian?" She called to Doc, trying to keep the panic out of her voice.

"I'm right here," Ian said softly, wrapping his arms around her to soothe her distress. "I'm right here."

"You're safe." The relief was evident in her voice.

"Yes, I am," he reassured her. He paused for a moment. "Wanda?"


"Yes, Ian?"

"Don't ever do that again. When I saw you dying... I couldn't handle you being gone, Wanda. The thought hurts too much."

"It was the only way to save you," she said softly. "I love you, Ian, and I would do anything to save you." She looked confused. "What happened? How did I get back here?"

"The Seekers healed you," he said, retelling the story of what had happened after she lost consciousness. "Your act of self-sacrifice surprised them and gave them much to think about."

"They let us go?"

"They did... and invited us to come back because there were things they wanted to know."

Wanda looked confused for a moment and then smiled. "Will we?"

"I don't know yet." Ian kissed her hair. "I almost lost you back there, Wanda. I can't do that again."

"I needed you to be safe," she explained. "It was the only way." She gave him a confused look. "Jared was the one to shoot me. I had asked Kyle to. Why--"

"Because he didn't want there to be any more strife between Kyle and I," he explained. "He didn't want you asking Kyle to ... kill you to save me to become something I would hate my brother for." He sighed. "He'd rather I hated him for it."

"Do you hate him?"

"If you had died, I would have. Instead, I just punched him in the face for shooting you."

Wanda gasped. "Ian!"

"He shot you, Wanda. I don't care if it was your idea or not. You were hurt and you were bleeding and I had to punch him or shoot him."

Wanda whimpered softly. "I'm glad you didn't shoot him."

He kissed her hair again. "Don't ever do something like this again, or I will. You're my life now, Wanda, and I will not lose you."